Y’all. The last week+ has been real. It’s both scary and difficult, but also deeply uplifting to see so many people angry and uprising against the tyranny that is the U.S. police.
I come from hillbilly stock. I was raised mostly in Branson, MO, with a couple years in mid-MO and a couple in southern Illinois (shout-out to my Carbondale friends). These places are fraught with stark racism. In Branson, I remember when an Asian American family moved in and everyone asked the kids ALL the racist questions as if they were a living, breathing museum exhibit. Black people just did not live there. Even today, you’ll see a very small percentage of POC in and around Branson.
In Murphysboro, IL, where I spent the middle two years of high school, I remember race-based brawls in the cafeteria. It was shocking for a girl with no experience of cultural diversity. And, obvi, it was not a great introduction to race relations in practice.
I’ve spent the last week reading all the news, ordering books, following new podcasts (NPR’s Code Switch is a great place to start), reposting Black voices on Facebook, and donating money. It isn’t enough, but I am listening and I am learning. I have witnessed racism in action and called out white idiots for refusing to acknowledge their privilege. I have debated Trumpists and family who believed that Michael Brown brought that police murder on himself in Ferguson. I send my kids to local public schools rather than private, like many of my professional white neighbors.
But still, I realize, I have deep-seated racist ideas that pop unbidden into my head from time to time. Like when I found myself making snap judgments about an unfamiliar neighborhood by the color of the skin of people who live there, or discounting my interest in a movie because its cast is mainly people of color. This is in no way the whole me or who I strive to become. It comes from growing up in a lily-white area and being ignorant about other people. It comes from family members who are racist and feeding those hateful ideas to my young, developing mind. As they say, no one is born racist.
We made a conscious effort to have kids in a racially diverse neighborhood. We also made efforts to socialize our children with people of all colors and different backgrounds, so they would not experience the same culture shock we did when we liberated ourselves from a backwards, racist town. About that same time, we watched about half of our white friends move to the suburbs when they had kids. They went “for the schools,” which is just white-people code for schools that are better funded and “safe” in the wealthy, substantially lighter-colored county. While we argued with them about the validity of that choice, they told us we were gambling with our kids’ future.
Here are a few resources about education and helping kids appreciate diversity:
- Lots of great info from Curious Parents on Facebook
- And this large list from BounceBackParenting.com
- Even CNN and Sesame Street teamed up to do a town hall on racism!
But I think our kids had a great experience in their early years. They went to a daycare where their skin color placed them in the minority–a sensation I’ve only felt maybe twice in my life. Our children are much more aware of racism in our culture and its effects than I was until my mid-20s. I am glad for that. And my best hope is to model the caring and learning I am still doing to break the cycle of racism I learned from my small-town, under-educated white family members.
I have decided that since I’m too chicken to protest during a pandemic, I’m going to do things from my house to help. Continue my online social-media campaign to amplify voices of color, will be an easy one. I’ve also made an effort to choose Black authors and journalists in my book and news consumption. I’ll also be looking for ways to get my kids involved in making signs, delivering waters, doing cleanup, and whatever else we can do to support protesters. White people must stay engaged and lift up Black messages however we are able, and I intend to stick around for the long haul. More resources to start with linked below!
Borrowed from a friend of a friend, Books, both childrens and YA:
- Coretta Scott King Book Award Winners: books for children and young adults
- 31 Children’s books to support conversations on race, racism and resistance
Or, to listen to Podcasts:
- Parenting Forward podcast episode ‘Five Pandemic Parenting Lessons with Cindy Wang Brandt’
- Fare of the Free Child podcast
- Integrated Schools podcast episode “Raising White Kids with Jennifer Harvey”
AND, last but definitely not least, Campaign Zero has an excellent list of policies we can advocate to help end police violence in America.
